ALZHEIMER'S SMILE
Lost. Where do i start. Memory fades. Mind blank. Can't remember anything... even my own name. What is happening to me? Young as i am, my mind works like that of my great grand father's. He died they said at 100+. No one knew his exact age. But he was the oldest man in our quarter. He forgot everything. His mind went blank. But he could smile. Always he did. Bright face, no words. Everything worked inside him - in his head: his mind.
For me, it's a slow process. It feels like i am fading away; going somewhere inside me that no one can reach. I can't remember yesterday or the day before, or the one before that. But i know i did what my ancestor did. I smiled. I do always. It's my way of saying something pleasant to all who wonder what is happening to me. I say to them, "worry not. My mind is still alive." Words may disappear from my lips, fragments of thoughts from my brain, but i am still able to smile at life: to say with my face, "I love you". "Yes, you!", the reader of my mind.
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| Butterfly smile |
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| Blue smile |
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| Sunset smile |
Are you aware that my smile spoke those words to you? Imagine this: the next strand of thought just disappeared from my mind. What is it that i want to say. I can't remember anything. Like he who smiled his way to the great beyond, i do same now hoping that the next thing i want to say will not fall off. It did. So i smile. I do so now at everything. No one seem angry at me for it. They simply return my smile. At my age they said it should not be happening to me. But what is my age? How can i ask them? I am supposed to know. All who went to school know their age. School? Which school? Where? That too i am supposed to know. But i can't remember. So i smile. Each time i do it lights them up. I feel good inside about that. I have no thoughts of sadness, no feelings of tragedy, no idea of progress, yesterday, today or tomorrow. I'm gone to smile no more. Alzheimer's, or is it dementia, took me away. My name. My recollections. All gone. So i call me Smile... it's my only treasure. A few minutes ago i passed on with a smile on my face. Please allow me to smile once more... in peace. Smile.
